Misfortune
by Lostone
Summary: A screwed intergration withmy other fic 'What Stress Can Do To a Kender'. Plz R & R


(Dis)Disclaimer: I do not own Shannara as we all know. But-but I will!! MWAAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!  
  
The Four Lands were in peace. The Elven Kingdom had sent two-dozen of their own to study as druids at Paranor. Bek Ohmsford and Rue Meridion were being engaged and Panax, the first dwarf to not get K.O.ed in Shannara, was learning how to get that magnificent bronze tan that the inhabitants of Pakaris had acquired. As all these events transpired, one was the most important-Grianne's journey back from the Valley of Shale.  
  
The former Isle Witch shuffled her large feet on the stone path. Moonlight led her path. Tripping over a rather large stone lying in the middle of the road, Grianne was sprawled on all fours.  
  
A sharp pain from her ankle caused her to lurch forward into the stone. Caressing the hilt of the Sword of Shannara, she gave a loud snort. "By Walker's missing arm, I've never been more insulted. Never, never, never-"  
  
"Stop complaining girly!" interrupted a high-pitched voice. Stepping out of the brush, a chibi Walker glared at Grianne.  
  
"HA!" Grianne sneered. "At least I'm not a-"  
  
"STOP STOP STOP!!!!!!!!" cried the chibi Walker. "I AM GOING TO DISAPEAR SOON!!!!! REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU AT HARDESHORN!" The chibi Walker's eyes suddenly turned all big and anime-ish. "Or else," he squeaked. "You will ne- never b-be-become a d-dr-druid. NO!" he cried out suddenly. "I DON'T WANT THE JUDGMENT!!!!" With a poof, he was gone.  
  
"But you don't make any sense!!!!!!" she whined. Her body convulsed with sobs. "WHO IN THE FOUR LANDS IS TASSLEHOFF BURRFOOT!!!!?????"  
  
The Druid's last words were carried by the wind. "Not in the Four Lands," the voice breathed. "In Krynn." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Ryer Ore Star's spirit wandered. Searching for some one, she floundered in the crushing darkness. A figure appeared in front of her eyes. It was a figure that she knew, yet could not place.  
  
"Walker! Walker, my dear lover!!!" she cried. Rushing to the Druid 's outstretched arms, Ryer began weep soundlessly. She outstretched a trembling hand to caress his pale face. "Walker," the seer breathed. "How I've missed you. Now we can be togther forever and ever--" Moaning suddenly, Ryer's body went limp. Falling into Walker's arms, she looked up into his eyes. "Walker."  
  
Walker regarded her with disgust. He shook his head in protest. "No," he said. "You will not humiliate me in front of everyone!" As he spoke the spirits of the Druids of the old materialized around Walker. Amongst these were Allanon. "Ryer!" he shouted. "I RESENT YOU! I SHALL RULE YOU ALL! MWAHAHAHA!!!!! BREMEN! YOU ARE WEAK!" He caught his breath. Realization came cold and hard againsrt him. This was the Judgment of the Druids!  
  
A face appeared before him. The face was cold and harsh. It was the face of a young girl-a girl that he recognized. It was Grianne Ohmsford, his successor. "Walker," she cooed. "You will not join them at Hardashorn. You have failed the Judgment." She grinned evilly. "You shall now be normal!"  
  
The druid regarded her with horror. He drew in a sharp breath. His body contorted in pain. "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
In the physical world, Grianne Ohmsford was facing a rather strange figure. The figure appeared to small child, yet it sounded strangely old (to say nothing of his hair, though).  
  
This isn't Palanthas," the figure muttered under his breath. "This isn't even Krynn! That FB!!!" he cried. Looking up, he suddenly noticed that he had company. "Where is this!" he demanded, lurching forward. Catching hold of the Sword of Shannara the figure grinned evilly.  
  
"The Four Lands and-hey! That's mine!" Grianne jumped to her feet. Too late, the kender had withdrawn the sword from its sheath. Reaching his lithe hand, Tas grasped the pommel. "STOP!" Grianne cried. She halted. The childish face of the creature had turned suddenly blank.  
  
"AHHHH!!!!" the figure cried. "NNOO!!!! I'LL BE A GOOD KENDER! I PROMISE!! NOOO!!!"  
  
"So," Grianne mumbled. "This thing is a kender." She smiled wistfull. The Sword of Shannara was taking its effect now. She broke out into triumphant laughter. "HO HO HO, I AM SO GOOD! I HAVE GOTTEN RID OF THE SWORD AND A CREATURE! HAAA HHHAAAAA HAAA!!!!!"  
  
The kender popped out of his trance. Grianne ceased her laughter. "By Walker," she sighed. "The sword must be broken."  
  
"Hello." The kender muttered. "I am Tasslehoff Burrfoot, High Cleric of Chemosh. I hope that you worship Chemosh, or else," he breathed in the richness of his speech. "Or else, I will have to kill you." Drawing out the dagger dubbed Rabbitslayer, Tasslehoff caressed the small hilt.  
  
"Well-" the former Isle Witch began.  
  
"STOP!!!!!!!" an anguished Tas cried. Grabbing the Sword of Shannara at his feet, Tas snatched it up. "What a nice looking sword," he mused. "Surely you wouldn't mind if take it for, uh, safe keeping."  
  
At this, Grianne was aghast. Surely, the Sword of Shannara should have atleast some affect this creature. That is, she thought sardonically, if it was from this world. Exasperated, she lunged for the sword. "THAT'S MINE!" she whined.  
  
"No," Tas said sadly. "If it were then you would be locked up in a depression-"  
  
"But I was, she interjected. "I was-"  
  
"FREAK!!!" Tas cried out suddenly. "YOY'RE A FREAK OF NATURE!!!!" Pointing an accusing at Grianne's most desirable, Tas grinned evilly. "BY CHEMOSH, YOU WILL-" pausing so suddenly, Tas began to think of all of the most horrible things that he could do. An idea inspired by Caramon Majere popped into his head. "You will become my slave. And you shall be so in more than one way," he added quiet happily.  
  
"WHY YOU!!!" Pulling out her mallet, Grianne regarded the kender with the lust for spilt kender blood. "I WILL SEND YOU TO MY MENTOR'S CORPSE!!! MMWWAHAHAHAHHHHAAA"  
  
"AHHHH!!!!" Tas cried shrilly. He was about to be ruthlessly murdered by a crazed woman. And also, he wouldn't join Chemosh. Meandering his way from the path, Tas darted into the underbrush. "COME PUPPY KID!" Grianne cried. "I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY EXTRASPECIAL MEDICINE-A MEDICINE THAT HAS CURED MANY OF MY PROBLEMS!"  
  
Woe to the unfortunate kender for he tripped in a pond of mud. Tas cried out frantically, but it was no good. The kender was slowly, but steadily, being bogged down. "CHEMOSH!!!!" Tas cried. "HELP ME RETURN TO KRYNN WHERE I SHALL SERVE YOU FOREV-"  
  
"HAAAAA!!!!" Mallet poised over her head, Grianne struck the kender's head as a hammer strikes a nail. Tas's body convulsed with the pain. His body lurched out of the mud.  
  
"To the Abyss with that." Tas coughed. Mud and blood frothed on his lips. His gaze averted upward. "YOU SHALL DDDIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" Tas lunged forward with his dagger. He lost his footing and fell headlong into the mud. The Sword of Shannara fell with him, sinking into the mud. Tas's body was enveloped completely by the devouring mud. "CHEMOSH!!" he gurgled through the mud. With that, he was gone.  
  
Grianne shuddered at the horrible sight. Retching, she regained her composure. "He's gone, at least," she sighed. "Now all that I have to do is take the Sword-" Grianne gasped. The sword! It had sunk in the mud with the kender! "NNOOOO!!!!" Grianne slumped to the ground, her body wracked with soundless sobs. She was silenced by a dark figure at her side. Grianne focused her eyes on the man. Dressed in tattered robes, the figure drew back its hood. Grianne gasped in recognition. "Walker."  
  
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Well, so now we go on and on and blah, blah, blah. -Galaphile 


End file.
